Written in the Stars?

25th October 2024

As I reflect back on this day and further into last night I feel in many ways like a weary traveller.

I haven't long ago sat next to a family member who has recently buried his brother and now finds himself again in the hospital with his sister-in-law who is seriously ill. You could discern the hesitant blur as the realisation of this chaos slowly made its way from head to heart and back again.

I have been supporting the whole family through much of this turmoil and trial over the last few weeks. It has weighed heavy on my heart this afternoon after I received a call and made my way down the motorway from the Princess of Wales Hospital to Llantrisant.

I have listened to this song which has allowed me to feel the emotion and to find some peace in its melodic quietness.

I promised to let you know how we got on last night at the 2024 NHS Awards. Well, of course, the At A Loss Project was a finalist but, sadly, not a winner.

What an achievement though. To be involved in a project that has been recognised across Wales in this way.

How wonderful to celebrate the work, compassion and tenacity of my colleague and friend, Wendy.

Here she is.

And here's a picture of our table, we all had a really good night together.

As the evening unfolded and I listened to the buildup for the category which the At A Loss Project was placed in, the late Sir Mansel Aylward, Person Centred Care Award, I was more and more convinced that the At A Loss Project was destined to win. All the stars for me were aligning.

I'd spoken of this earlier in the evening.

This short extract from the Bevan Commission’s tribute to Sir Mansel gives a wondrous insight into his work.

Sir Mansel was born in the Ex-servicemen’s Club in Merthyr Tydfil in November 1942. From an early age, Sir Mansel went above and beyond to look after those in need. As a 23-year-old medical student, Sir Mansel was driving home to Merthyr Tydfil when he was pulled over by police who told him he could not go any further because there had been a disaster in Aberfan. Upon learning about his medical training, he was sent to assist the rescue effort, where he was one of the first responders at the Aberfan Disaster; the tragic event in which a coal waste tip collapsed, killing 116 children and 28 adults. This event profoundly impacted him, and after completing his training, he returned to Merthyr Tydfil to take up a position as a General Practitioner.

You can read the entire article here.

https://bevancommission.org/with-deep-sadness-professor-sir-mansel-aylwards-passing/

But, as much as it felt like it was written in the stars, the project didn't win.

I'm fascinated by these lyrics from the Elton John and LeAnn Rhimes song.

Is it written in the stars?

Are we paying for some crime?

Is that all that we are good for?

Just a stretch of mortal time

Is this God's experiment?

In which we have no say

In which we're given paradise

But only for a day

I am of course not reflecting on the disappointment of a project not winning an award, as it was continuously referred to last night, all the shortlisted projects were winners. To see the joy and celebration on the volunteers faces was all the confirmation you needed of this reality. But, I am reflecting on the profound questions that life leaves you with. As it batters against your walls like a raging ocean.

Earlier on, as I've alluded to, I was in the Princess of Wales Hospital in Bridgend, for the end of Spiritual Care Week. Here, I had the fascination of speaking with such a variety of different people from all kinds of walks of life, each traversing this fragile planetary existence. Talking with us about their lives and their particular struggles at this present moment.

As I prepare to head off, with my family for a weeks half-term holiday and a break from the intensity of my role here in Cwm Taf Morgannwg UHB, I'm very humbled by the role of chaplaincy. This Spiritual Care Week has been so full of amazing connections and, as I consider the privilege of holding people in my heart as I walk alongside them, as a guide and sounding board, a listening ear, I am weary yet full of wonder.

I hope these words from Ecclesiastes in the bible don't present as woeful or forlorn. But they speak into the wrestling we go through as life ebbs and flows. As it passes by.

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, “I find no pleasure in them”— before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim; when the doors to the street are closed and the sound of grinding fades; when people rise up at the sound of birds, but all their songs grow faint; when people are afraid of heights and of dangers in the streets; when the almond tree blossoms and the grasshopper drags itself along and desire no longer is stirred. Then people go to their eternal home and mourners go about the streets. Remember him—before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it.

Ecclesiastes 12:1-7 NIV

And so a prayer to lead us on,

May you be ready for the journey and trust that all you need will be given.